Why I Became a Rabbi

My Spiritual Journey & Life’s Work

Early Love of Liturgy & Big Tent Judaism

I was seven years old when the first woman rabbi in North America was ordained within Judaism’s Reform movement. Jewish family life, congregational community, and summers at Jewish camp awakened in me a deep love of liturgy and melody. Even as a child, I imagined becoming a rabbi or cantor.

During college, however, I experienced something new and painful: judgment within Jewish spaces about levels of observance. Being told I was “not Jewish enough” challenged my young understanding of Judaism as a wide and welcoming tent. That experience planted a lifelong commitment to cultivating Jewish spaces that honor diversity of practice and perspective.

Law, Mediation & the Art of Sacred Conversation

Before entering rabbinical school, I practiced law and worked as a mediator and facilitator of conflict transformation. I helped individuals and institutions navigate systemic and interpersonal disputes using collaborative approaches.

This work sharpened my skills in deep listening, careful language, and honoring divergent views. It also strengthened my belief that disagreement, when engaged with integrity, can be sacred work. These tools now serve me daily as a rabbi guiding families, communities, and interfaith couples through emotionally complex moments.

Community Building & Rabbinic Calling

Though I stepped back from formal Jewish involvement during parts of early adulthood, my love of Jewish learning never faded. A personal experiment designing a monthly Rosh Chodesh ritual rekindled my connection to liturgy and sacred time.

In 2006, I helped found The Little Minyan, a grassroots havurah (group of friends) that grew into Kehilat Sukkat Shalom, a vibrant Jewish community located in central Ohio. We built a participatory, egalitarian collective rooted in meaningful engagement rather than passive attendance. In 2009, we affiliated with the Reconstructionist movement because its vision of Judaism as evolving, justice-seeking, and intellectually rigorous resonated deeply. The kehilah later affiliated with Jewish Renewal in gratitude for the nutrients being received through my studies within its cantorial and rabbinic tracks.

After intensive leadership training through the Davenen Leadership Training Institute, I finally trusted the rabbinic calling that had quietly accompanied me for decades. I entered the ALEPH Ordination Program and received s’micha on January 7, 2018 (20 Tevet 5778). The children of our community had already begun calling me “Rabbi Jessica” long before ordination; the title was born in relationship. My role as a founder and the spiritual leader of Sukkat Shalom over 15 years was integral to my journey before and throughout rabbinical school. We learned together what it meant to build and sustain Jewish community in the early years of the 21st century. Helping give birth to this community and nurturing it into its fullness remains a great honor and source of pride.

The Heart of My Rabbinistry

At the center of my work is an exuberance for:

• Judaism’s agrarian roots and cycles of sacred time

• Rigorous study across generations and millennia

• The music and poetry of Jewish prayer

• Spiritual practices for everyday living

• The sacred tension of differing ideas

• The diversity of Jewish expression across the globe

I am honored to work with Jews who feel ambivalent about their connection to Judaism and with Jewish-adjacent loved ones seeking meaningful entry points. Jewish wisdom belongs not only to institutions but also to the hearts and homes of those who find nourishment in it.

Interfaith/Multi-heritage Relationships & Families

A significant focus of my work involves interfaith and multicultural relationships. I delight in helping couples and families honor both particularity and universality—creating sacred space that reflects shared values and diverse spiritual inheritances. I often remind folks that all marriages (even where both people share a religious heritage) are “interfaith.” I bristle at the term “non-Jew” to describe a Jewish-adjacent partner. Since biblical times, Jews have been intermarried, and we have been a mixed multitude since receiving Torah at Har (Mount) Sinai.

Whether or not a beloved partner chooses to formally convert, Jewish ritual and wisdom offer tools for meaning-making, memory, celebration, and resilience. My work is to make these tools accessible in a thoughtful way that demonstrates deep respect for each person’s background and narrative.

Eco-Judaism & Torah in the Public Square

My love of hiking, camping, walking barefoot, gardening, local fresh produce, cooking, and healthy eating informs how I engage with the world around me. My education and passions have led me to the practice of eco-Judaism, which includes an emphasis on food justice. Jewish law and values offer profound insight into sustainability, environmental ethics, and planetary balance.

I enjoy helping individuals connect their environmental commitments with daily Jewish practice—from mindful food choices to sacred rhythms of creativity and rest. These teachings also cultivate fertile ground for collaboration across faith traditions and secular activism and repair work.

Personal Grounding

Although I cherish being called “rabbi,” my favorite title remains “Mom.” Parenting, caregiving for my parents during prolonged illness, and tending a blended family have shaped my understanding of compassion, fortitude, forgiveness, and self-care.

In 2020, at the beginning of the global pandemic, I married my beloved husband and b'sheret (soulmate), Eric Stillman. Our wedding, shared virtually with hundreds while only seven stood physically present, reflected the resilience and creativity that ritual can offer in uncertain times. During that season, I began braiding 100% natural beeswax Havdalah candles to ensure that my Havdalah practice utilizes ritual objects that reflect my values. This creative expression of fashioning a braided candle with natural materials and the warmth of the sun was cathartic, and it led to a small Etsy business I called Havdalah Happiness. It connected me with hundreds of wonderful people who used my candles as they marked the sacred transition to a new week or even to a new status, as my havdalah candles have been included in several weddings, including our own!

During the pandemic, an important friendship connected me with a small and fabulous community in, of all places, northwestern Montana. I had the privilege of serving as spiritual leader of the Glacier Jewish Community in Whitefish and Kalispell until Eric and I relocated to St. Petersburg, Florida, for his career.

With the natural beauty of this sun-soaked coastal paradise—its abundant flora and fauna as constant inspiration and a reminder of the Sacred in all things—I continue to serve seekers locally and across the country. The rhythms of moon, tide, and coastline have joined the mountains and open tents that shape my sacred path. I look forward to the opportunities to engage with, care for, and offer ritual artistry to those who seek my approach to spiritual service.